first official web assignment out of school. working out the html bugs and stuff. you can do it!

nobody deserves shit like that from me. especially you. sorry about the outburst just now. i'll try to keep it in from now on.

I used to imagine how life would be like in sitcoms. Staying in a 2+1 apartment with your buddy like in the big bang theory, being able to work with your bestfriend at the buymore like in chuck, not having to worry about money like how the winchester brothers get away with credit card fraud and a dozen fake IDs.

For a few weeks, i literally got to experience life like that. And i must say I dont really like the idea. (not an excuse), but having to juggle life, work, cleaning, is pretty tough. The lines have to be drawn clearly, and most of the times it's rather hard to get things going. Probably it's just in my nature, but still, living alone was not a good experience.

Granted, it was good to have two cars at my disposal. But really, the past few weeks has been really tough.

And now, i'm facing one of my toughest decisions in life. The predicament i'm in is not pretty. And i hate myself for having a backup plan, as I always know that I can count on it. It's like in super mario and you have 5 lives. You wouldn't really have to worry about falling into the pits, or accidentally touching turtles, be it green or red. For the pros who gain countless of coins(100,000 i think) to gain an additional life, like me, (hahahaha) they have nothing to worry about as the maximum lives they get is countless.

It's really a to quit or not to quit situation. But beyond that simple decision, lies many issues.

Issues such as being a huge disappointment, wasting 2 years worth of time, wasting 2 years worth of money, and many more...

So tell me now, is it possible to categorize humans into 2 categories?

1 - humans who are able to study.

2 - humans who are unable to study.

I am left with less than 20 hours to create 12 web pages in flash. And i have nothing. My worst fears is that even if i try my best, i most like am going to end up failing and having to waste 1 more year just because I never try hard enough. And that's on me. Everything's on me. The disappointment, the waste of money, the waste of time.

And i guess, you can say, this is THE lowest point in my life thus far. Every single brain cell is screaming 'fuck! I wanna quit school'.

boy am i glad to have found wait by m83. it has been on loop since the time i found out about it.

just like kettering.

k bye i am going to fuck things up now.

'If today were the last day of my life, would i wanna do what i am about to do today? And if the answer has been no for too many days in a row, i know i need to change something.'

here and there, living life and taking it as it comes.

Is this really what things are supposed to be?